Describe a new law you would like to see introduced

Band 6

I would like to talk about a law that I want in my country: everybody who rideОшибка согласования подлежащего и сказуемого: должно быть «rides» an electric scooter must wear a helmet and use the cycle lanes. The idea comeОшибка времени: должно быть «came» to me last spring, when a man on a scooter without helmet went across the road near my university and almost hit a bus. He was okay, but I can not stopОшибка времени: должно быть «could not stop» thinking that it could be much worse. In my city these scooters are very popularПростая формулировка; ограничивает Lexical Resource for students and delivery riders, but the rules are not erЕстественная заминка, некритичное слово-паразит ready for this. The law would apply for riders of every age and also for the companies that give the scooters, because they must give helmets and explain the rules at the beginning. The government should also run a short campaign before the law starts, so that people hear about it first. I think it is goodПростое прилагательное; ограничивает Lexical Resource for the country, because fewer accidents means less problemsОшибка согласования и исчисляемости: должно быть «fewer accidents mean fewer problems» for hospitals, and a small change like this can protectПропущено «would»: должно быть «would protect» a lot of people, especially students, who ride very fast near the university gates.

Band 7

I’d like to talk about a law I’d introduce in my country: a rule that everyone riding an electric scooter must wear a helmet and keep to the cycle lanes. The idea came to me last spring, when a rider with no helmet swerved across the road outside my university and narrowly missed a busТочное, естественное словосочетание. He was fine, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how easily it could have gone the other way. In my city these scooters have become very popular in a couple of years, mostly among students and delivery riders, and the rules haven’t really caught up with themPresent perfect с идиоматичным фразовым глаголом. The law would apply to riders of every age and to the companies that provide the scooters, who would have complyПропущено «to»: должно быть «have to comply» with it by giving out helmets and explaining the rules. The government should also run a short campaign before the law starts, so that people hear about it first. I think it would benefit the whole countryЧёткий маркер мнения, отвечающий на строку «explain», because fewer accidents mean less pressure on hospitals, and it’s a small change that could protect many people.

Band 8

I’d like to talk about a law I’d introduce in my country: a rule that everyone riding an electric scooter must wear a helmet and keep to the cycle lanes. The idea came to me last spring, when a rider with no helmet swerved across the road outside my university and narrowly missed a bus. He was fine, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how easily it could have gone the other way. In my city these scooters have become hugely popular in just a couple of years, mostly among students and delivery riders, and the rules haven’t really caught up. The law would apply to riders of every age and to the companies that provide the scooters, who would have to give out helmets and explain the rules when someone first uses one. The government should also run a short campaign before the law starts, so that people hear about it first. It would benefit the whole country, not only the ridersКонструкция с противопоставлением, ясно называющая пользу, because fewer accidents mean less pressure on hospitals and fewer drivers who have to live with a near miss. Frankly, it’s a small change that would protect a lot of peopleЕстественная, уверенная заключительная фраза.